Google “anagram.” Right now.

Only Google...

Oh Google. Yes we get it.
I’m amused because I’m a nice guy, but imagine the surprise of those who were legitimately trying to find a definition. Well it’s always nice to learn from example.

I’m going to assume that some jaunty programmer at the Googleplex pulled one over us. Either that or 4chan is messing with the search rankings (you’ll recall that a few years ago the swastika was the top search in The United States).

Oh yes. In case you were actually Googling the definition…

A word or phrase formed by reordering the letters of another word or phrase, such as satin to stain.

You’re welcome.

UPDATE:
The buckyball animation is totally stealing my thunder.

Apple is simply one of the most powerful multinational companies out there. It is currently this (_____)  close to capturing the entire Outernet.

The Plan (so far):

1. Set up small-time computer company
2. Win people over with cutesy apple logo
3. Act like there really is no bigger picture
4. Introduce iPod
5. Completely dominate media consumption with iPhone and iPad, respectively
6. Start social network
7. Begin political blackmail
8. Operation Kill Microsoft
9. Conquer Western Hemisphere
10. Make logo Earth’s flag

Yep… Apple has a new social network. It’s called Ping! and to me, it sounds suspiciously like Microsoft’s Bing! Hmm… something else to think about actually.

According to last day’s Apple Conference, Ping will be integrated into iTunes. Basically it allows users to see what music their friends are listening to and what concerts they’re attending. Chairman Steve Jobs said that it’ll be similar in function to Twitter and Facebook, so I imagine that most of the info shows up in News Feeds and the like. You’ll also be able to create a profile, set up info and follow like-minded fans.

The scouting report however isn’t too flattering. Seriously, check the Twittersphere. Most people are ranting on and on about how abysmal the “music recommendation” scheme is. You only get to choose 3 favorite genres, which to me is quite constricting and if you’re a Last.fm user you’re sure to be turned off by the lack of openness. You can’t import contacts from Facebook or Windows either. In my eyes it just takes too much time and effort to use Ping! And to be honest, I’m Apple’s worst nightmare. I haven’t purchased any of their products for a while. I use Windows Media Player to do my thing and I only use iTunes when I’m messing around with iPod. I even delete the Safari package they attach to my iTunes update. There really is no incentive for me to use Ping. I suspect the same for many other people as well.

Better off sticking to Twitter.

But you never know right? Apple was in the dumps when Jobs wasn’t around but it’s certainly made a comeback. I honestly think Apple should be more flexible in their approach. Right now the entire thing is quite static. There’s no 3rd party involvement, no importing… just nothing. It’s just there for the sake of being there. Kind of like a Facebook page that nobody joins *cough* After all why join Ping and do all this stuff when Twitter, Facebook and all that good stuff are out there being fabulous?

Ping is currently available to 160 million. It’ll also be available on the iPod and iPhone product lines. Also at the Apple Conference, Jobs hinted that the iTunes logo would no longer feature the CD (hint hint #10) to emphasize the change in focus.

Firstly, I’m a bit skeptical. This sounds kind of like the lie-detector app that does nothing but serve you random yes’s, no’s, and definitely maybe’s. It also appears to be in the same vein as martial art tutorials that teach you to knock men out without ever touching them. That is to say, complete and total bollocks.

But no. This iPhone app is for real. It’s only shred of legitimacy comes from the fact that it was developed by Peter Bentley at University-College London. It’s also used by doctors worldwide right now who have opted to use this in place of a traditional, works-for-sure stethoscope.

Think about that for a second…

The Stethoscope app cleverly makes use of the iPhone’s audio mic, camera and accelerometers. It takes a reading and shows the specs on the iPhone display. The scouting report is that the app is being downloaded ~500 times a day. Not necessarily by doctors but by amused people like you and I.

There’s also a Pro version. It’s 99 cents but it’ll remove the embedded ads and include extra features. My Doctor better be a Pro if he’s using this.

Somebody is going to get their ass handed back to them.

Paul Allen is a business phenom. He’s co-founder of Microsoft and he spends his time being completely zen at Vulcan Inc.

But this… this is something different.
Allen is suing Google, Apple, AOL, Facebook, Netflix, OfficeMax, Staples, Yahoo!, YouTube and NetFlix over patents that were created by *oh wait* the company no longer exists.

Interval Research was founded in 1992 by Paul Allen but was dissolved in 2000. It’s primarily a research firm and the patents under its name involve technologies that seriously affect the way we  surf and do business online. One of the patents involves technology serves up related searches & user suggestions that would be particularly useful say after watching a video or reading an article. *cough*YoutubeFacebookGoogleApple*cough* Sorry, really bad cough. Allen is contesting four patents and I’m going to assume that each of them pack considerable weight.

Experts are saying that Allen’s lawsuit is vague and unclear. No duh. But, if Allen is making legitimate claims, then this whole thing is bigger than Google, Apple and the whole lot combined. I would actually judge him for keeping his suit so comparatively small. I mean the entire web, the apps we use… everything is touched by just one of Allen’s supposed patents. On another note. Allen is going up against Google. The freaking juggernaut. He’s also going up against Apple. These are the guys that (last I checked) have yet to compensate the original creator of the iPod. There are also 9 remaining behemoths. Oy vay.

If Paul Allen wins…
If Paul Allen loses…

Somebody is going to get their ass handed back to them.

This game looks sexy. I wasn’t really listening to the developers fawn about their genre-blending act but damn, this is sexy. With a k. Admittedly, I haven’t played too many FPS titles lately, so I could have extremely low expectations. (Reminder to self: CODII tomorrow) For those who haven’t read the wiki, Brink features a society comprised of The Resistance and The Security. They fight for rather limited resources using guns, parkour and other fancy shit.

I just finished the video actually. Being frank, I find that Splash Damage is stretching this genre-blending label a bit too much. Really, it could break like a second-hand err… As I was saying, the primary contention here is that each player’s experience is unique and that the line between offline or even online play would be effectively blurred. There’s also this thing about mass interactivity and that “everybody plays the game differently.” Pshaw. Whatever. It’s a shooter with badass written all over it, but to say that it crumbles the walls between genres seem overly premature.

There’s a context-sensitive rewards system which seems pretty attractive and the options available for guns and characters seem good enough. But I’m not hot over it. And that’s a potential problem. For the moment, Brink’s rewards system and weapons selection doesn’t really make me want to shed my Call Of Duty loyalties. The overall look, the graphics (unless what we saw there was some post game rendering) bear a striking resemblance to Team Fortress 2. Uncannily, much like TF2 (or any other FPS) Brink does features four character classes.

A quick breakdown…

• Soldiers can resupply the team with ammunition/supplies and can destroy high priority targets
• Engineers boost team stats and can build turrets
• Medics take care of downed players
• Operatives can interrogate and disguise themselves as enemy players

I kinda regret that Brink has Valve anti-cheat because honestly, how else could you shoot through walls? But you didn’t hear that from me.

For the moment Brink has some fairly sweet graphics, although I can’t speak for the gameplay itself. The idea that each player’s experience is unique does keep me interested and it also prevents me from discarding this title for something that’s decidedly more familiar. (Reminder to self: CODII tomorrow). Oh yes. Perfect moment to mention that there’s a “Wheel-based” objective menu. Each objective requires X amount of experience points to fulfill and depending on the number of points you have, it determines how you play the game. The video probably explains it better than I do. There’s also parkour-intensive movements which is simply perfect for Brink’s gameplay environment.

A point of relative irrelevance: I really like the “R” rendering next to evolution at the end of the video. It is cool. I will probably purchase this game for that very reason.

Bottom line I’m excited for another FPS game. Genre-melding or not, the graphics and “different game every time” experience should tide it out for me.

There wasn’t much to get at, save for an extremely fuzzy image of a ring on his finger. But now, thanks to today’s Entertainment Weekly we get this…

He looked better as Deadpool

I’m not entirely sure if this is because of the Chuck Schumer incident, but it seems like Apple is stepping up and handing out free bumper cases to iPhone 4 owners. We all know about “antenna-gate” and the “death grip” debacle but I can’t help but wonder that all the bad press could have been avoided had this been done earlier.

According to Steve Jobs at today’s Press Conference, iPhone return rates are surprisingly low and that there have been few AppleCare complaints about reception issues.

But that don’t matter. Apple is utilizing it’s enormous lump of wealth to send out free bumper cases to you guys through September 30th. Say you already bought a bumper? Not to worry. A refund is in order.

Next week you’ll be able to order your free iPhone 4 case on Apple.com and it’ll be shipped directly. Free. Is that better?

Oh btw
GCUKUFMJNF7W

*Cough cough Chuck Schumer cough*

This is Chuck Schumer. And it looks like he knows something we don't.

Wow. This has officially gotten way out of hand.

Chuck Schumer of the New York Senate just issued a press release demanding that Apple deliver a “clearly written explanation” on their reception problem. *Laughs uncontrollably*

You got to be kidding me. Being honest here, I never really knew that this was the sort of thing that Senators concern themselves with, although admittedly, Apple’s iPhone 4 problems should definitely be fixed immediately. I’m telling you guys, this has got to be personal. Maybe Schumer bought the iPhone 4 for himself but was absolutely humiliated, I mean put to shame by his legislation friends when he couldn’t make a 10 second phone call. Or maybe Schumer got the iPhone for his wife but since she couldn’t put it to use, she’s angry, and he’s sleeping on the couch. And now they’re not talking.

At any rate, Schumer has called a press conference – tomorrow. Somebody seems to have too much time.

There’s a new start-up out there that capitalizes on the Jeff Albertson, geek in all of us. It hurts, because you know it’s true.  Anyway, the start-up is known as GameCrush – part social network and part online dating site that frankly, seems a bit risqué. Which may not be a bad thing. Anyway, at last month’s E3 conference, people presented new technologies and innovations in their respective fields. Among the highlights were Nintendo’s 3D Handheld system, Microsoft’s XBOX-compatible Kinect and two ladies cursorily known as Amber Syn and Gina Tran (these don’t sound like real names). They wore short-shorts and tank tops that read provocative statements like “Play Me.” Wow.

Now I’m not making this up. As part of the GameCrush program, Amber Syn and Gina Tran are known as “PlayDates.” Not that much better then Playboy’s “Playmates.” The idea is that the predominantly male gaming demographic can meet women whilst playing Halo. I think the program will also include Call Of Duty as well. But these titles are tentative. Hey look, a tic. Let’s pat it.

I don’t know what to make of GameCrush. On the one hand, it seems like there’a lot of money to be made here given the sheer number of video game enthusiasts online. Add to that, the site apparently has a roster exceeding 5000 PlayDates, so you get to choose the ones you’d like. They’re also categorized in terms of Dirty, or Flirty, although I seriously think that should be phased out. I was slightly confused at first; not knowing how the system functioned. For all we know, your PlayDate on the other side could be another Jeff Albertson. But turns out it’s actually a glorified WebCam session, albeit with a girl, one would hope. Which brings me to my next point…  I’m not sure anybody would pay for this.
*Cough* Omegle *Cough*

I mean, check out the rates (though they might have gone up last I checked):

• $4 for 10 minutes on Xbox Live
• $4 for 6 minutes of flash-based online games. Stuff like Battleship, or the always lame Connect four.

Listen to the rubbish. $4 for 10 minutes? Halo matches ought to last longer then that and I guarantee you’ll make no strides with your Playdate. I also kinda assumed that the crappy games featured on Instant Messenger would strike cheaper but evidently, I’m dumbfounded. This business will either A) Do decent, or B) Fail astronomically.

GameCrush seems more like a fad.
It’s slogan is, “Be a player.”
That I will, that I will.

Not Pictured: Stuart Lawley, King of Dot-XXX

Every domain extension that you’ve heard of – .com, .net, .asia – all of them are rife with the things you’d find in the seedy porn underbelly.  Evidently, sex sells.

Stuart Lawley, a London-based businessman has brokered a new deal with ICANN (Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) that’ll ultimately make him the sole purveyor of all domain names that end in dot-xxx. In simple terms, Lawley is the new porn king and he’s sitting his heinie on a stack of internet gold that’s worth an excess of $200 million. Think about it this way. If the Sex.com acquisition drew in an estimated $14 million, the new .xxx extension opens up a whole plethora of possibilities that capitalize on the sexy-time of web surfers. That means lots of money and lots of innocent words dirtied because of the .xxx extension. Imagine sex.xxx or even puppy.xxx. Eew. This isn’t the first Lawley tried to pass the dot-xxx extension. But after $6 million, a lot of porn lobbying and arbitration, things are becoming a very sticky reality. According to Lawley, he’s gonna regulate dot-xxx with a 7 person board; among these are porn-players (actors?) and child-protection advocates. But things are brewing… Christian groups such as Family Research Council and even porn giants (ew) are mad pissed at Lawley. John Sander, VP of marketing and development at Kink is seeing it as a large annoyance.

But bottom line?
Lawley has made himself yet another fortune, despite the perceived opposition from other organizations.