Area 51 Declassified, Much Remains The Same

The cumulous shroud surrounding “that military facility” has finally dissipated.

Area 51 now officially exists — which in the first place sounds silly. After all, how could the government feds ever explain that huge fenced-off tract of land at coordinates (37°14′06″N115°48′40″W) But let’s move on. For the first time in history, staff are allowed to talk about stuff they did and what really went down there.

According to the L.A. times, Colonel Hugh “Slip” Slater, 87, commander of the Area 51 Base in the 1960s remarked how he oversaw the development of Mach 3 planes and OXCARTS, also planes. Very disappointed because no aliens are mentioned. He also claims that OXCARTS are responsible for many UFO sightings in the 1960s. Again, that same disappointment.

Now while I’m no conspiracy theorist my awe-inspiring spidey sense tells me that all this recent declassifying move is pure bologna. Plus, you know that Area 51 is just a large distraction right? I mean all they really did was move the stuff from Area 51 to Area 52. But remember, don’t tell. This could potentially endanger your life. Ssshhhhhhhhhh.

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