Pay $1000 For Useless App, Alienate All Your Friends

If you’re actually rich enough to throw away your change… you should probably stop. There are weirder and stupider ways to show that you’ve got embarassingly large stacks.

Hey! I have one. An iPhone app that does nothing but make you sad because it makes you a bit poorer. A thousand dollars will vanish from your wallet, and you’ll still wonder where it went. The aptly named “I Am Rich” is testament to Armin Heinrich’s growing pockets. What he sells really does nothing. Genius. A credible product that will never fail. 

“I Am Rich” displays a thumbnail-sized ruby that shows you a not-so-secret life statement of the rich. “Stay Rich, Healthy, and Successful.” My sentiments exactly. A second function does present itself. This app serves as a wordless means to tell friends that you’re a total douche, a douche that can afford decorative junk.

“I Am Rich” however, does make me question the requirements that need to be fulfilled before software can be sold in the App Store. It makes me think that if simple, tasteless, crap can actually appear, one shouldn’t miss out on the gold mine. My idea: program an enchanting monkey that carries out dance routines to music by the ‘Village People’. If my plan works out, people will be mailing me my fair share of stacks.

But anyway, don’t ever pay for this. Resist! If you have an extra roll of $1000, buy something a little more worthwhile, like the Optimus Maximus

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